SHANNON’S DRIVE-IN: WISHCRAFT

Shannon watches the teen horror movie Wishcraft, a good chaser to the bleakness that is Obsession.

A teenager receives a mysterious gift in the mail which he uses to wish for his dream girl to fall for him.

Director: Richard Wenk (as Danny Graves)

Writer: Larry Katz

Stars: Michael Weston, Alexandra Holden, Huntley Ritter, Michael Aday

There’s something comforting in the ridiculousness of a teen horror movie from the early 2000’s. They don’t take themselves seriously, they throw bizarre ideas at the wall to see what sticks, and they can make up for their lack of quality by being something memorable.

With the reinvention of the “be careful what you wish for” idea explored in the latest movie Obsession (go see it if you haven’t yet, it’s definitely worth it), I went down a Tubi hole and found a movie with a similar premise, 2002’s Wishcraft.

Sure, Obsession is the hot new horror movie with a monkey’s paw premise, but does it have a stoner teenager wishing to be a “badass mofo” before entering a bar in an attempt to beat the crap out of a bunch of bikers? Wishcraft sure does. Also, the magical object isn’t a stick you break in this one; it’s a totem made from a hundred year old bull penis (there’s that early 2000’s raunch humor we remember!).

High school student Brett Bumpers (Michael Weston) is a bookish nerd who’s crushing on popular girl Samantha (Alexandra Holden). He receives the bull penis totem in the mail with a mysterious note telling him the grotesque thing will grant him three wishes. He doesn’t believe it at first, then wonders why the hell not and wishes for Samantha to ask him to the Spring Fling. Poof! It happens.

Meanwhile, there’s a slasher loose in the town, offing high school students in interesting ways, such as burying one up to his neck on the local golf course and rolling bowling balls at his head. The slasher parts of the plot are bizarre and entertaining, placed in between the goings-on of a confused Brett slowly realizing the problematic parts of his wish-making when Samantha becomes his girlfriend (he comprehends this way too slowly; at times you just want to hit the boy over the head with a clue-by-four).

The last twenty minutes where the slasher and their motive is revealed are a ridiculous romp you kind of just have to go with. It just keeps throwing surprises and craziness up until the end, hooking you in with its nonsense until the weird wrap-up of what happens between Brett and Samantha.

The cast is made up of TV bit players, a who-who’s of “I know that person from somewhere, but where?” Plus Meat Loaf (credited here as Michael Aday) shows up as Detective Sparky Sparks. Not long after he appears, we’re introduced to Zelda Rubenstein as the town’s coroner doing her Zelda Rubenstein thing, which is always delightful.

There are so many other things that speak to the early-2000’s -ness of this movie (which should be a sub-genre in its own right by now). Brett’s best friend Howie (A.J. Buckley) is your typical stoner character, played way more obnoxious and over-the-top than the usual trope. There’s a scene about the jocks versus the goths (though it seems like the budget couldn’t afford real goths and we’re just looking at a bunch of scruffy people in brown clothes; one girl is less goth and more Christina Aguilera in her Dirrty era). The characters are one-dimensional archetypes, but in a movie like this, it doesn’t really matter and they serve their purpose in their entertainment value.

Director Richard Wenk (credited under horror movie/goth pseudonym Danny Graves) also directed 1982’s Annie and 1983’s Vamp, two very different movies, both ridiculous in their own rights. He was also screenwriter for a lot of 2010’s action movies (most notably The Equalizer franchise). Something about this little unknown movie he made is charming in its willingness to meld a supernatural parable with a slasher. It’s surprising in how well it balances the two.

After seeing Obsession, Wishcraft is a good chaser. Obsession is the darkness, and Wishcraft is the light 2002 gave us.

Shannon Grant is a writer, performer, adventurer, and horned cryptid living in the wilds of upstate New York. Her work can be found in many small press anthologies such as A Guide to Useless Sidekicks, Catskill Chaos, and The Lizzie Borden House Anthology. She is currently at work on a vampire novella. When not writing, she can be found haunting drive-in movie theaters, karaoke bars, and looking for ghosts in the woods.

PLEASE NOTE: The views and opinions of the staff of Memento Mori Ink do not necessarily represent those of Memento Mori Ink or Crystal Lake Publishing. Thank you for understanding.