Ninetoes VS Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

Ninetoes grew up on everyone’s favorite bear, but he had no idea ol’ Pooh would end up like this!

After Christopher Robin abandons them for college, Pooh and Piglet embark on a bloody rampage as they search for a new source of food.

Written and directed by Rhys-Frake Waterfield

Starring Nikolai Leon, Natasha Rose Mills, and Craig David Dowsett

Hey there, movie lovers! It is your old pal, Ninetoes, coming to you from Ninetoes HQ. Today I am taking a look at Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. I’ve got popcorn in my system and my thinking cap on, so let’s get to it!

I had heard rumors that there is a version of Winnie the Pooh that is not the version I grew up with. This one is a horror movie, and after searching, I finally found it on the Peacock streaming service. Oh boy, did I ever find it!

We all know the story of the Hundred Acre Wood, populated with Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, Piglet, Owl, etc. Christopher Robin befriended these friends, but as will happen, he grew up and went to college, leaving them to fend for themselves. The first winter was brutal, and one of them had to be sacrificed to feed the rest…bye, bye, Eeyore. Pooh and the others vowed to hate mankind and never trust them again. Anyone entering the Hundred Acre Wood may never come out.

Apparently, this movie was the start of what is called the “Poohverse”. Our favorite fairy tales and children’s stories have been turned into horror movies. Boy, were they ever! Well, I am pretty much down for anything. Right? Ummm, guys? Why am I the only one here?

The story progresses from Christopher Robin showing his fiancée Hundred Acre Wood, and things go sideways fast! After that, we get five very pretty women going to the Hundred Acre Wood for an outing/girl’s weekend. Another friend gets lost along the way, and before you can say GET OUT!, Pooh appears. Now, here is the thing: in most horror movies, when you see a lumbering giant, victims trip over a twig or a pebble, and they are captured. Well, in this one, Pooh hauls ass. He is like the Usain Bolt of the horror villains.

The story goes from vengeance to off the rails because we need to use all of this blood we made real fast. It is a fight for survival as Pooh and Piglet find more and more inventive ways to kill. Did you know Pooh can drive? Yeah, that’s a thing, and the close-up on his face with red lights from below is absolutely haunting!

The acting is your typical B-grade horror flick fare. There are no awards being won here, but then again, with a title like Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, you pretty much get what you expect; not bad, but not great.

As the movie progresses, I found myself wondering who would survive, and then it got to the point where I just did not care. It became a jumbled mess of who is running, who is tripping, and who is actually who because the lighting becomes iffy, and it is hard to make out anyone’s face except for Pooh and Piglet.

My favorite part is when the British equivalent of the redneck brigade shows up in a Ford pickup and square off against Pooh. Who knew there were rednecks in Britain? I guess they’re pretty much as ubiquitous…as are Ford pickups, I guess.

If you like your horror campy, and your villains creepy, this is the movie for you.

After 100 years, who would have thought this is what would become of Winnie the Pooh…oh, bother.

Darren “Ninetoes” Perdue is a book and media reviewer. When he is not reading, he is watching true crime shows, cooking for his family, or working on a plan for universal domination. If you see him on his porch, say hi. He does not bite…much.

PLEASE NOTE: The views and opinions of the staff of Memento Mori Ink do not necessarily represent those of Memento Mori Ink or Crystal Lake Publishing, nor do the views or opinions of Crystal Lake necessarily represent those of Memento Mori Ink or its staff. Thank you for understanding.