Letters to Jyl: June 22, 2026

With Netflix’s Maternal Instinct bringing relationship warning signs into the spotlight, this week’s reader finds himself facing a situation he can no longer ignore.

Every week, readers send me questions about relationships, career problems, family disputes, supernatural incidents, neighborhood feuds, and the occasional eldritch inconvenience. This week’s letter comes from a reader whose relationship concerns become more alarming with every paragraph.

Dear Jyl,

I have…a situation. 

At first, I thought I was in love. You know, boy meets girl, they fall in love. We meet each other’s families. Everything is okay. Right? And it was, don’t get me wrong. We were in love. Intimacy was wonderful.

Then some of the wheels started to come off.

My family noticed it first. It started with the bathroom incidents. I would go to the bathroom, and she would wait outside the door. When she heard the toilet flush, she would walk back to the couch and sit as if nothing had happened. If it happened once, that would have been one thing. But this was a recurring incident. We are talking every time! Was she waiting for me to stroke out on the can?

Then she became really clingy. I swear, I grew a one-hundred-and-twenty-pound appendage. AND if another woman looked at me, just glanced my way, the green-eyed demon of jealousy flew out. “This is MY man!” She would shout this so that everyone in the next eight counties could hear. Embarrassing? That is a big 10-4!

Now, she is telling me and the world she is pregnant with my child. I should be over the moon, but…if she is, there is no way it is mine. I had an accident a few years ago that basically torpedoed any chance of kids from my end. We are talking no silver bullets to fire. What’s more is that she told me the doctors told her that if she got pregnant, it would be a miracle.

At this point, I am afraid she is going to take this too far, and someone will get hurt or killed. Maybe me, maybe someone else, but something bad will happen!

What should I do? 

Sincerely, 

—Crazy in Carolina

Dear Crazy,

To begin, you are not crazy. I’m glad you wrote in. There are a lot of words I would use to describe the behavior in this letter. Romantic is not one of them. We should not excuse dangerous behavior because it comes from a woman. Control and possessiveness are never okay.

The problem with this type of behavior is that people often mistake it for passion right up until the moment it becomes frightening. Somewhere along the way, we’ve convinced ourselves that these things are romantic if they’re wrapped in enough grand gestures and dramatic declarations. They aren’t. They’re warning signs. Waiting outside the bathroom, publicly claiming ownership of another person, or treating a partner’s interactions with other people like an act of betrayal isn’t sweet, nor is it evidence of love. This type of behavior screams insecurity, control, and a profound lack of boundaries.

You said your family noticed these behaviors before you did. That’s usually a sign that something has become normalized inside the relationship long before the person living it realizes there’s a problem. When you’re in the middle of it, it’s easy to laugh things off and tell yourself they’re just protective, passionate, or deeply attached. Sometimes it’s easier to make jokes than it is to admit you’re uncomfortable.

The pregnancy claim is where this situation moves from concerning to alarming. If what you’ve written is accurate, then you’re describing someone who is ignoring reality, inventing their own, and attempting to use a pregnancy to secure a relationship. There is no version of that story that ends well.

What stood out to me most was your final paragraph. You said you’re afraid someone is going to get hurt. I take that seriously, and I think you should too. People don’t usually jump straight to fears of violence without a reason. Whether that fear comes from specific incidents, escalating behavior, threats, or simply your instincts, it deserves your attention. If you genuinely believe this situation has the potential to become dangerous, stop treating it like a relationship problem and start treating it like a safety issue.

And let’s address the obvious double standard. If a man were waiting outside a woman’s bathroom, monitoring her movements, publicly warning other men away from her, and making increasingly possessive claims about her, nobody would be calling it cute. They would be calling it controlling. They would be telling her to leave. They would be telling her to protect herself. They would be taking her fears seriously. I am telling you the same thing.

Trust your instincts. Talk to people you trust. Document what needs documenting. Create distance. Run, don’t walk. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, don’t ignore it simply because the person making you uncomfortable also claims to love you.

Your safety matters more than preserving someone else’s feelings.

—Jyl

If you are experiencing stalking, coercive control, emotional abuse, threats, or other forms of relationship abuse, help is available.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
You can also call or text 988 if you are in crisis or concerned for your safety.

If you are outside the United States, please contact a local domestic violence or crisis support organization in your area.

If you have a question, problem, curse, feud, haunting, crisis, cryptid-related concern, or suspicious situation of your own, send it to letterstojyl@gmail.com. Anonymous submissions are always welcome. Take care of yourselves out there.

Jyl Glenn is a writer, editor, formatter, anthologist, poet, and a medical-legal writer and consultant. Her lifelong love affair with horror began at a very early age when she was left unattended on the weekend Poltergeist debuted on HBO. And then she figured out she could read any horror book she liked as long as she hung out at the public library, even if the librarian deemed it not to be age appropriate. Jyl was born and raised in New York and now lives in Tulsa with her dog and kitten. She loves creepy art, dark poetry, and pink dinosaurs. When she isn’t dabbling in the macabre—she’s most likely asleep.

PLEASE NOTE: The views and opinions of the staff of Memento Mori Ink do not necessarily represent those of Memento Mori Ink or Crystal Lake Publishing, nor do the views or opinions of Crystal Lake necessarily represent those of Memento Mori Ink or its staff. Thank you for understanding.